Feather Gathering
by Cella N
Summary: The relationship between Haine, Naoto and Nill, as seen through Badou’s eyes. CHURCH GANG. In many aspects, she is their angel.


**Feather Gathering**  
_"The family is a haven in a heartless world." Christopher Lasch_

In a less complex world, they'd be able to wake up every morning, and tell her they love her.

It's difficult to explain the internal machinations of Haine and Naoto's minds, Badou thinks as he looks at them. They're both crazy-ass idiots, that's for sure, but at the same time, each has one side—like the darker side of the moon, it shows less than the others—that surprises him always. Basically, it's their attitude toward Nill.

In many aspects, Nill is the angel of Bishop's curch, as well as the angel of Haine's life. She's his Lily, or she is his redemption. To everyone else, there's only curses and glares and muttered 'whatever's, but to Nill, Haine acts as if he cares. It is quite possible that deep down, under all those thick layers of allergies towards women, he's able to trust one. How else would he explain going through all that shit to get Nill out of her hellhole? What _made_ him go through all that shit, Badou wonders. It's not like the city, hell, their world isn't plagued by those types of genetic experiments; he could've rescued a puppy-boy, or a kitten-girl, so why Nill? Badou doesn't know how they met, or what happened when they met, but he figures Nill _must_ be a real angel deep down, to have caught Haine's attention and convinced him with one glance to save her. Yes, she easily convinces even the Devil himself to give her a piece of cake, all she needs is to look at him with those wide eyes; and he'd be in the bag. But somehow, Badou doubts that Haine's as weak as to fall for just a pretty face; so this is why the reasoning that Nill is his second Lily makes sense. Maybe they don't look alike at all, and maybe Nill's stronger than she may look—she'll cower under the table at the sound of guns, but she'll wrap her arms around the fiercest Cerberus alive, even if he was covered in blood—it's impossible to guess Haine's reasoning. Badou has the impression that not even Haine knows why he did it, sometimes. Maybe it was the wings; if Haine were a sucker for symbolism, which he really doesn't seem to be (that's more Naoto's job). The means are irrelevant as long as you look at the ends: Haine can be angry, he can feel like a dog inside a cage, he can be bloodthirsty, he can be vicious, he can be a rude bastard; but Nill only flutters her wings at him in question, or looks at him like she wants to take all his pain away—she doesn't even have to say it, he _knows_ this—and his expression instantly softens.

To Naoto, who breathes drama with every inhale of air she takes, Nill is hope. Naoto doesn't need redemption, because she hasn't done anything wrong so far. So sure, a bit of distortion and violent questioning along the side was necessary, but ultimately, she hasn't wrecked a whole compound of innocent people. Badou doubts she ever would; Naoto fights only when necessary, and even when she does, it's swift and clean, as if she's avoiding bloodshed, or preparing for a major one. From the stories Badou has heard, she's had a rough childhood; wouldn't you be out to get your family's murderer and find out who you are and _why_ they wanted you dead? If it had been any other person, maybe they'd have just retreated to some home somewhere and cried their amnesia away; but this is Naoto. She's fought to survive and her scar's proof of it. She'll fight to revenge herself, and he knows that won't be pretty. Mostly, Naoto doesn't talk a lot to anyone. She doesn't even talk to Nill, yet they seem to communicate fine without words; one's a mute and the other one's economical with her words. They're friends, Badou guesses; the first real friend Naoto has, maybe. He heard from the Bishop that Naoto rescued Nill without doubting it, and he doesn't think it's bullshit. Seeing the way the woman smiles at the little angel, Badou wouldn't be surprised if deep down, Naoto had some weird big sister complex towards her. She's lost, and she doesn't linger in one place too long anymore, but she's always there when Nill needs her.

Because of Nill, Badou realises, Naoto and Haine bury the hatchet. Whether it's to reprimand Bishop for all those loli dresses, or to agree on who keeps Nill safe when there's trouble, they seem to get along only then. On any other occasion, it's glaring and smouldering looks of hatred, and even a vicious fight or two; but when it comes to the younger girl, frankly, they're both whipped. Badou doesn't tell them this, because he'd get his ass kicked, but he knows they know. Naoto has stopped looking at Haine as if he were a monster, and Haine has started to trust Naoto in some regards. It's all the little girl's fault.

In his nicotine-infused mind, Badou laughs his ass off at how much they look like a family. Mother, father, and their little kid. Of course, mama and papa spend most of the time being divorced from each other, and it's the kid who makes them act like normal people; but hey, they're all messed up in this world, and so's this family. Badou figures he's the uncle, only good to bring Nill candy, and maybe laugh at the parental figures; and Bishop must be either a grandfather or an uncle, it's unclear, but hell if it's not funny. They're a messed up group, he knows, but at least three of them are more normal than the other two. Badou knows how to let himself feel, and he knows that Nill loves them all so much that she'd need three more hearts to contain it all in, and he knows that while Bishop's a weird and creepy guy, he's nice deep down.

What makes him sad, when he thinks about it, is the fact that maybe Haine and Naoto will never be able to feel this love. She'll die, most likely, in the battle against her monsters; and he'll die, most likely, because he's fucked-up crazy. So Badou sits back, and imagines a different world. They're not changed, because then they wouldn't be themselves. But in this other world, they wake up each morning, and when they see Nill flutter her wings at them, they smile and tell her they love her.


End file.
